I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
