If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I need to align my fucking chakras
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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