google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
