I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This baby is an asshole
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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