Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
