im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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