puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize