My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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