I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize