I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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