I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
