let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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