i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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