why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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