yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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