Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize