a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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