When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
