he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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