His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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