i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?