I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
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Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE