I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.