You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
