hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other