Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
