I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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