I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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