IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
