dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
