If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
