is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
