Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
