Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
