when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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