I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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