Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
