I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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