You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
