I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
time to smoke my breakfast
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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