If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
