some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
