My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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