her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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