her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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