had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
