nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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