i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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