You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
