GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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