I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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