saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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