strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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