You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
