Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
