Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
