so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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