She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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