god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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