great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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