Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
