I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
