Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
