see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
