And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
