it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
