I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
