The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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