sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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