Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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