i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
